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2017-03-14 05:54 am

Took a bit of a walk for some fresh air. Space Needle always looks so

Took a bit of a walk for some fresh air. Space Needle always looks so cool at night.
Took a bit of a walk for some fresh air. Space Needle always looks so cool at night.

(Myrtle Edwards Park)
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2017-03-04 12:02 am

Second Movement

Second Movement
by Rob Wynne
To the tune of "Everybody Hurts" by REM

When your dinner's done
And you sit, you sit upon the throne
When you're sure you've had enough
to digest, well, let go

Just let yourself go
Cause everybody pees
And everybody poops....sometimes.

Sometimes everything is full
Now it's time to sit alone
When your dinner's moved along (let go, leg go)
If you feel like holding on (let go)
If you think your toilet seat
Is too cold, well, let go

Everybody poops
Take comfort in the void
Everybody poops
Don't wipe on your hand, oh no

Don't wipe on your hand, oh no
Use paper from the roll
No, no, no, use the roll

If you're on your own after lunch
You've eaten all the food
When you think you've had too much of this food to hang on

Well, everybody poops,
Sometimes, everybody pees
Everybody poops sometimes
Everybody poops sometimes.

So let go, let go,
Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go
Everybody poops

I swore I'd never actually write this song. But sometimes the muse won't let go. Dedicated to all the parents of young children out there.
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2017-02-28 12:21 am

Snowing!

Snowing!
Snowing!

(Lower Queen Anne, Seattle)
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2017-02-06 07:40 pm

Seattle Snow Globe

Seattle Snow Globe
Seattle Snow Globe

(Lower Queen Anne, Seattle)
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2017-02-03 02:32 am

Reading List - January 2017

One of the things I said I wanted to do this year was spend more time reading, by setting aside time in my day specifically for that.  To that end, I'm also keeping track of the books I'm reading, so I can see how many I get through by the end of the year.   Off to a start that feels glacially slow to me, but is at least on track towards the notion of reading around 50 books by the end of the year.

Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

Winters TaleThis is a reread -- in fact, it's an annual re-read.  I first encountered this wonderful novel my freshman year of college, and I have revisited it at least once a year since then.  One of the things I love about this book is how rich and layered it is, and how even after 30+ trips through it, I still discover new details, or make connections between things that I'd never noticed before.  This is the book I buy copies of whenever I see them in used bookstores, and then hand them freely to anyone I like who says they've never read it.

World of Warcraft: Chronicle Volume 1, by Blizzard Entertainment

World of Warcraft Chronicle Volume 1This is a lovely book containing what amounts to the pre-history and mythology of the Warcraft video games.  It has lots of wonderful art and a tremendous amount of detailed lore that explores the complex cosmology of this universe.  A second volume is expected to be released later this year, and I'm looking forward to adding it to my collection.

 

A Life In Parts, by Bryan Cranston

A Life in PartsThis is a breezy, engaging memoir by Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston, telling the story of his childhood and acting career.  We saw him speak as part of the Seattle Arts and Lectures series late last year, when the book came out, but I am only just now getting around to reading it.  He's an interesting guy, and this was a fun, brisk read.

 

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls, by Jes Baker

Things No One Will Tell Fat GirlsSubtitled "A Handbook for Unapologetic Living", this is a great discourse on body positivity and fat acceptance.  Jes Baker, who runs the website themilitantbaker.com, has written an engaging handbook for people struggling with self-image.  My friend Traci Haley recommended this book highly, and now that I've read it, I can second it.

 

With everything going on in January, between two conventions, a fairly annoying bout of illness, and family obligations, I didn't get as much as I wanted done.  (I also spent a fair bit of time doing other things, so I'm still working out the right balance.
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2017-01-18 09:55 pm

Dusting Out The Cobwebs

*walks in, blows the dust off the cover of this journal, and looks sheeishly apologetic*

It's been far too long since I kept this journal.  There's a lot of reasons for that, but most of them are boring, so I'm going to skip past them to the more interesting promise of actually starting again.

With the new year already well in full swing, there's a lot of things I want to apply myself towards in 2017.  In no particular order;

  • Reading

    In recent years, I haven't been reading as much as I did in the past.   Or rather, I haven't been reading books, and particular fiction.  Part of that was that for a long time, a large part of our library was still in storage in Georgia, but we got that fixed back in May.  Mostly, it's just a matter of allocating my time so that sitting with a book rather than staring at a screen is what I'm doing.  So this year, I'm going to take myself up on one of those book challenges where I record the books I read and try to read at least 50 in the calendar year.   If I can get myself back in the habit, I should easily exceed that number.  (I once had to have my mother come with me to the public library to confirm that, yes, I had in fact read the entire stack of books I'd checked out just a few days earlier.)

  • Creating

    I want to spend more time making art in various forms.  I want to write more songs.  I want to improve my guitar skills, and finally learn to play the bass guitar I bought.  I want to write more essays and fiction and film reviews.  And, importantly, I want to start podcasting again.  All of my previous podcasting projects went onto hiatus, and I've really been missing that outlet.  I have some ideas bubbling up, and in the meantime, I'm always available to guest if anyone needs someone to come on and run their mouth. :)

  • Blogging

    One of the reasons I haven't been blogging more is because a lot of the things that used to make up a blog post have turned into Facebook fodder.  And I'm probably not going to stop writing on Facebook, but I want to make an effort to keep this forum engaged too, because the way I approach writing on this journal is substantially different to the way I approach writing on Facebook.  And I've found it very useful at times to go back and re-read the things I write here, because they keep me in touch with where I was at the time.


So this is, by way of being the first real post in quite some time, a rededication of this blog.  I will, as is my custom, continue to crosspost things from here onto other platforms (FB, Twitter, Tumblr, Dreamwidth), in order to make it easier for people to find what I'm writing wherever it is you happen to be hanging out these days.
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2016-10-27 10:28 pm
Entry tags:

I Know It When I See It

I Know It When I See It
By Rob Wynne
Tune: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

You know it's pretty clear, this film ain't subtle
You know why you're here, there can be no rebuttal
'Cause we've got that boom boom that all the folks craved
All the right smut and it is quite depraved

I see the movie scenes working that misdirect
But I do not know why
They're all so circumspect
If you like sexy sexy, get what you want
Cause every scene is about sex
And we are very nonchalant

Yeah, Aunt Hortence, she told me don't worry about the plot
Because folks only watch this for one thing and you know what
You know it won't be PG rated, family-friendly fare
But if you want the good stuff
Then go ahead and take the dare

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

It's full of nudity
But only for the social comment'ry
No, I'm just playing, I know you think it's smut
But I'm here to tell you
Every scene is full of sex and we are very nonchalant

Yes, Aunt Hortence, she told me don't worry about the plot
Because folks only watch this for one thing and you know what
You know it won't be PG rated, family-friendly fare
But if you want the good stuff
Then go ahead and take the dare

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
Because I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
Because I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

Inspired by a comment made by Aahz Caller, as we discussed whether "Lesbian Farm Invaders" was the sort of film one watched for the subtext, which was itself in a thread about a recent news report that Rush Limbaugh was warning that federally paid lesbian farmers might soon invade your town, becuase boy howdy this year's news has been hella weird.
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2016-10-27 10:08 pm
Entry tags:

Meet The Hipsters

Meet The Hipsters
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Theme From The Flintstones"

Hipsters, meet the Hipsters
They're a modern vintage family
From the streets of Brooklyn
They go on a thrift store shopping spree

Hear their...records (vinyl is preferred)
Bands of whom you'll never once have heard

When you're with the Hipsters
You'll have a before it was cool time
A real old school time
You'll have a new old time!


For the record, I have nothing against hipsters. But someone posted this photo, and this just...came out.


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2016-10-27 10:02 pm
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Rhymes of Fashion

Rhymes of Fashion
by Rob Wynne and Jeff Williams
TTTO: "We Will Rock You" by Queen

Buddy you're a hard shoe, cheap shoe,
Plastic on your feet so you stomp in the puddles, yeah
You got mud on your strap, you piece of crap
But you sell because you're cheaper than an iPhone app

We will, we will CROC YOU!(Wear it, uh...)
We will, we will CROC YOU!

Buddy you're an apron, draped on,
Hang down to your knees so you don't get the stain on you
You got paint in your hair, but you don't care
Cuz you know it won't get on your clothes under there

We will, we will SMOCK YOU
We will, we will SMOCK YOU

Buddy, you're a cheap robe, wardrobe
Fitting for a priest or a monk from the Middle Age
You got rope for a belt
Never look svelte
Even when you're made from furry animal pelts

We will, we will FROCK YOU
We will, we will FROCK YOU


This is the sort of thing that happens when Jeff Williams and I get bored in chat...
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2016-10-27 09:55 pm
Entry tags:

He's Right Behind You

He's Right Behind You
by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: "Theme From Spider-Man (1967)")

Slender man, Slender man
Faceless dude with a snow white tan
In the woods, late at night
Suddenly, you die of fright
Look out, here comes the slender man

Is he real? Listen guy
He's a thing, but we don't know why
Shadows lurk, noises sound
Once you're lost, you can't be found
Beware, here comes the slender man

When the moon is clear
And you're losing your mind
Like a ghost of fear
He appears close behind

Slender man, slender man
Creepy neighbourhood slender man
All your locks he's ignored
One thing's sure, you won't be bored

Look out! Life is a thing that's ending
Your psyche won't be mending
You met the slender maaaaaaaan

My brain. Sometimes I just don't know.  This popped into my head nearly completely formed shortly after listening to the episode of Tom Merritt and Molly Wood's excellent podcast 'It's A  Thing' which featured the Slender Man phenomenon.  
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2016-10-27 05:17 pm

Look Upon My Gear, Ye Mighty, And Repair

Look Upon My Gear, Ye Mighty, And Repair
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Dust In The Wind" by Kansas

My warlock casts
Conjure up a demon from the fiery depths
The spell falls flat
My spec is gone, and everything I learned is wrong
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Once we strode
Like giants through the endgame, doing mighty deeds
But glory fades
Your grand achievements now just curiosities
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Game moves on
Level cap increases, once again we grind
New quests call
And all your epics won't another level buy
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

This morning (28 December 2012) in the Tadpool, discussing the current WoW expansion and whether it was worth coming back to, Cory Latham made a comment about having too much time invested in his characters to roll new ones, and Christopher Dunn quipped that all that was meaningless, only the current expansion matters. And that got my filker brain working and this came out.

There have been two more World of Warcraft expansions that have come out since I wrote this, and it's still true, which hasn't always been true of my WoW filks :)
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2016-10-27 04:38 pm
Entry tags:

Undead Cat

Undead Cat
Lyrics by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel)

Undead cat
It's not living now, and that is that
But somehow it still can move around
No you're never gonna keep it down

You'd better run from the undead cat
You won't win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You're gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

And when you see where it is
It's too lay-ay-ate
And when you wake up
You make up its play-ay-ate

You'll see that you now are dead
Your poor sod
You've been fed to the undead cat
And your flesh has made it sleek and fat
And when it's tired of its catnip toys
It will go hunting for more girls and boys
Because they're moist

Undead cat
In Spanish, viviendo muerto gat-
O, maybe someday when you're on your own
Out in the woods, you hear a yowling moan
Won't make it home

And where it's stalking
You'll find you're its prey-ay-ay
There's no use talking
Unless it's to pray-ay-ay

You'll see that you now are dead
Your poor sod
You'd should've fled from the undead cat
You won't win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You're gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

My brain and welcome to it.  (Sincere apologies to Billy Joel, and anyone with the slightest amount of taste)
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2016-10-27 04:14 pm

On Her Majesty's Sysop Service

On Her Majesty's SysOp Service
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "You Only Live Twice" by Leslie Bricusse & John Barry

You always save twice or so they say;
One set for your files on a well supplied RAID.
You always save twice, so we have avowed.
A backup is stored on disk, tape or cloud

And data will stack up, and platforms will fry
Don't think of the backup, and the data will die

This NAS is for you, so pray the price
Keep your data safe, and always save twice.

And data will stack up, and platforms will fry
Don't think of the backup, and the data will die

This NAS is for you, so pray the price
Keep your data safe, and always save twice.

Inspired by Bill Sutton's unfortunate travails with his PC, and by his delightful "Goldfinger" parody detailing them.
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2016-10-27 04:05 pm
Entry tags:

Sour Grapes

Sour Grapes
(or, Reflections on George Lucas's comments about the new Star Wars film)
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Send in the Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim

Doesn't it suck?
Don't you agree
This film that everyone's praising
Wasn't by me
Send in the clones.

Isn't it sick?
Isn't it sad?
Everyone loves this new Star Wars
It makes me mad.
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones

Just when I'd stopped
changing the score
Finally selling
the rights for billions more
Walking the carpet again
With my usual strut
Sure of my place
No one asks, but...

What have I wrought?
Jar Jar was panned
I thought that you'd want what I want
Sorry, my fans
But where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones!
Don't bother, new plans

Aren't I rich?
Is that not enough?
Seeing that Abrams succeeded
where I failed is rough
And where are the clones?
There ought to be clones?
Well, maybe next film...
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2016-10-27 03:53 pm

Cluttergathering

I’ve been meaning to start back up with some general blogging, but because I majored in Procrastination (with a doulbe minor in Blowing Things Off and Well Nevermind), I haven’t been.


Towards the notion of getting started again — along with making sure my website Songbook is up to date — I’m going to start posting things here that have previously been posted in other places (primarily Facebook) over the last little while.  So you may see things you saw earlier, or things you never saw but which are long divorced from their original context.  Just a heads up.  Hope it’s not annoying and stuff. 🙂

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2016-10-26 10:59 pm
Entry tags:

Pass The Sage


Pass the Sage
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Turn the Page” by Bob Seger

 


In a spacious TV studio, east of Tokyo
You can listen to the sous chefs as they scurry to and fro
And you wonder if tonight you’ll make an ice cream out of roe

And your thoughts will soon be focused on your culinary lore
When the chairman calls the challenger to step out on the floor
And you wonder if this night will be just like the nights before

Oh, here I am, stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

You walk into the stadium, and you stand upon the height
And you feel his eyes upon you, as he chooses you to fight
And another kitchen battle’s on; What will we cook tonight?

Sometimes you can’t hear ’em talk, other times you can
All those same old clichés: is that pudding, or a flan?
And you’re almost out of flour, but still you make it stand

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

From the moment that the grill is fired until the plates are served
All your skills and your talents are a legacy preserved
You cook to prove your iron reputation is deserved

Later, when the tastings done, and the compliments are shared
The chairman counts the ballot and the victor is declared
You know another challenge waits, and you will be prepared

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…there I go…

One new song debuted in my Orycon set in 2015. I actually wrote this a while ago, but decided not to post it until after I’d sung it in the wild somewhere, and that was the first time I had the chance.

Many people have written Iron Chef songs. This one is mine.
 

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2016-10-19 05:54 pm
Entry tags:

The Shining wit

The Shining Wit
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Act Naturally” by Johnny Russell and Voni Morrison

I’m gonna get myself a girlfriend
I’m gonna go make all these women see
That I’m a man who knows how to explain things
And all I gotta says is “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
'Cause I will make it simple as well

I know you’ll nod and see that I am right, here.
And jump into my arms and softly squee
You’ll fall for me the moment that I step up
To interrupt you, saying, “Well, actually…”

Yet somehow I wind sad and lonely
It makes me so mad; I just cannot see
I know that I did nothing to deserve this
The only thing I said was “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
'Cause I will make it simple as well

I guess that she was just another hater
But I will get a girl eventually
She will not be able to resist me
When I interrupt her saying “Well, actually…”

Many thanks to Twitter user David Ballard (@dvdbllrd) for the inspiration for this.

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2014-07-21 12:08 am
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Filkers: Pegasus Nomination Ballot closing soon

Deadline for the 2014 Pegasus Nominating Ballot is 12:01AM PDT, July 27, 2014


Ballots should be filled out on line or submitted by mail to:


OVFF

3824 Patricia Drive

Columbus, OH, 43220


You may select five artists/songs per category. Need ideas? Check out the results of the Brainstorming Poll!



Ballots submitted using this form must be submitted by 12:01AM PDT, July 27, 2014 (that means the first minute after July 27 ends on the West coast of the US). Ballots submitted by surface mail must be received in Columbus, OH by July 25, 2014.


*NOTE* Due to unforeseen circumstances, we’ve been forced to move the ballot closing to Sunday, July 27. We apologise for the mid-season shift in the schedule.


Each person may only submit one Nominating Ballot.


We strongly encourage you to copy & distribute this ballot as widely as possible within the filk community. You do not need to be a member of the convention to vote.


Eligibility: If a song has won a Pegasus in the past, it is not eligible for Nomination. Writer/Composers and Performers who won in 2009 – 2013 are not eligible in the same category in 2014. See the current Winners List for non-eligible songs. See The Rules for more details on eligibility requirements. Send mail to pegasus at ovff.org if you have any questions.


Please keep in mind that the Pegasus Awards are for excellence in Filking, not in music in general, or even funny music in general. Nominated songs should be part, one way or another, of the music of the filk community, and for “Best Performer” and “Best Composer”, people you nominate should be participating members of the filk community.


Thank you for your participation!!


http://www.ovff.org/pegasus/2014nomballot.html


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2014-07-09 06:13 pm

Tadpoolery Episode 39: Game of Spones

There’s a new episode of Tadpoolery!  In this episode, Rob and Bryan discuss




  • Sports, briefly

  • Tadpool as community / online friendships

  • Nerdtacular is coming!

  • Weird news: carjackers foiled by manual transmission.

  • Steam sale controversy.

  • Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

  • Game of Thrones season finale ( spoilers! )

  • NepoTuneism:  “Winter is Coming” by Sunnie Larson and friends.


As always, you can subscribe to Tadpoolery on iTunes or download/listen at our webpage.


Enjoy, and thanks for listening!


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2014-07-03 09:26 pm

View from my airplane window...

View from my airplane window...

View from my airplane window…


()