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I Know It When I See It
By Rob Wynne
Tune: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

You know it's pretty clear, this film ain't subtle
You know why you're here, there can be no rebuttal
'Cause we've got that boom boom that all the folks craved
All the right smut and it is quite depraved

I see the movie scenes working that misdirect
But I do not know why
They're all so circumspect
If you like sexy sexy, get what you want
Cause every scene is about sex
And we are very nonchalant

Yeah, Aunt Hortence, she told me don't worry about the plot
Because folks only watch this for one thing and you know what
You know it won't be PG rated, family-friendly fare
But if you want the good stuff
Then go ahead and take the dare

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

It's full of nudity
But only for the social comment'ry
No, I'm just playing, I know you think it's smut
But I'm here to tell you
Every scene is full of sex and we are very nonchalant

Yes, Aunt Hortence, she told me don't worry about the plot
Because folks only watch this for one thing and you know what
You know it won't be PG rated, family-friendly fare
But if you want the good stuff
Then go ahead and take the dare

Because I'm all about that text,
'Bout that text, no subtext
Because I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
Because I'm all about that text, 'bout that text, no subtext
I'm all about that text, 'bout that text...

Inspired by a comment made by Aahz Caller, as we discussed whether "Lesbian Farm Invaders" was the sort of film one watched for the subtext, which was itself in a thread about a recent news report that Rush Limbaugh was warning that federally paid lesbian farmers might soon invade your town, becuase boy howdy this year's news has been hella weird.
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Meet The Hipsters
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Theme From The Flintstones"

Hipsters, meet the Hipsters
They're a modern vintage family
From the streets of Brooklyn
They go on a thrift store shopping spree

Hear their...records (vinyl is preferred)
Bands of whom you'll never once have heard

When you're with the Hipsters
You'll have a before it was cool time
A real old school time
You'll have a new old time!


For the record, I have nothing against hipsters. But someone posted this photo, and this just...came out.


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Rhymes of Fashion
by Rob Wynne and Jeff Williams
TTTO: "We Will Rock You" by Queen

Buddy you're a hard shoe, cheap shoe,
Plastic on your feet so you stomp in the puddles, yeah
You got mud on your strap, you piece of crap
But you sell because you're cheaper than an iPhone app

We will, we will CROC YOU!(Wear it, uh...)
We will, we will CROC YOU!

Buddy you're an apron, draped on,
Hang down to your knees so you don't get the stain on you
You got paint in your hair, but you don't care
Cuz you know it won't get on your clothes under there

We will, we will SMOCK YOU
We will, we will SMOCK YOU

Buddy, you're a cheap robe, wardrobe
Fitting for a priest or a monk from the Middle Age
You got rope for a belt
Never look svelte
Even when you're made from furry animal pelts

We will, we will FROCK YOU
We will, we will FROCK YOU


This is the sort of thing that happens when Jeff Williams and I get bored in chat...
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He's Right Behind You
by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: "Theme From Spider-Man (1967)")

Slender man, Slender man
Faceless dude with a snow white tan
In the woods, late at night
Suddenly, you die of fright
Look out, here comes the slender man

Is he real? Listen guy
He's a thing, but we don't know why
Shadows lurk, noises sound
Once you're lost, you can't be found
Beware, here comes the slender man

When the moon is clear
And you're losing your mind
Like a ghost of fear
He appears close behind

Slender man, slender man
Creepy neighbourhood slender man
All your locks he's ignored
One thing's sure, you won't be bored

Look out! Life is a thing that's ending
Your psyche won't be mending
You met the slender maaaaaaaan

My brain. Sometimes I just don't know.  This popped into my head nearly completely formed shortly after listening to the episode of Tom Merritt and Molly Wood's excellent podcast 'It's A  Thing' which featured the Slender Man phenomenon.  
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Look Upon My Gear, Ye Mighty, And Repair
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Dust In The Wind" by Kansas

My warlock casts
Conjure up a demon from the fiery depths
The spell falls flat
My spec is gone, and everything I learned is wrong
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Once we strode
Like giants through the endgame, doing mighty deeds
But glory fades
Your grand achievements now just curiosities
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

Game moves on
Level cap increases, once again we grind
New quests call
And all your epics won't another level buy
Bits in the code
All we are is bits in the code

This morning (28 December 2012) in the Tadpool, discussing the current WoW expansion and whether it was worth coming back to, Cory Latham made a comment about having too much time invested in his characters to roll new ones, and Christopher Dunn quipped that all that was meaningless, only the current expansion matters. And that got my filker brain working and this came out.

There have been two more World of Warcraft expansions that have come out since I wrote this, and it's still true, which hasn't always been true of my WoW filks :)

Undead Cat

Oct. 27th, 2016 04:38 pm
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Undead Cat
Lyrics by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel)

Undead cat
It's not living now, and that is that
But somehow it still can move around
No you're never gonna keep it down

You'd better run from the undead cat
You won't win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You're gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

And when you see where it is
It's too lay-ay-ate
And when you wake up
You make up its play-ay-ate

You'll see that you now are dead
Your poor sod
You've been fed to the undead cat
And your flesh has made it sleek and fat
And when it's tired of its catnip toys
It will go hunting for more girls and boys
Because they're moist

Undead cat
In Spanish, viviendo muerto gat-
O, maybe someday when you're on your own
Out in the woods, you hear a yowling moan
Won't make it home

And where it's stalking
You'll find you're its prey-ay-ay
There's no use talking
Unless it's to pray-ay-ay

You'll see that you now are dead
Your poor sod
You'd should've fled from the undead cat
You won't win if you get in a spat
And if the sight of it should give you pause
You're gonna die by its undead claws
And drooling maw

My brain and welcome to it.  (Sincere apologies to Billy Joel, and anyone with the slightest amount of taste)
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Sour Grapes
(or, Reflections on George Lucas's comments about the new Star Wars film)
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: "Send in the Clowns" by Stephen Sondheim

Doesn't it suck?
Don't you agree
This film that everyone's praising
Wasn't by me
Send in the clones.

Isn't it sick?
Isn't it sad?
Everyone loves this new Star Wars
It makes me mad.
Where are the clones?
Send in the clones

Just when I'd stopped
changing the score
Finally selling
the rights for billions more
Walking the carpet again
With my usual strut
Sure of my place
No one asks, but...

What have I wrought?
Jar Jar was panned
I thought that you'd want what I want
Sorry, my fans
But where are the clones?
Quick, send in the clones!
Don't bother, new plans

Aren't I rich?
Is that not enough?
Seeing that Abrams succeeded
where I failed is rough
And where are the clones?
There ought to be clones?
Well, maybe next film...
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Pass the Sage
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Turn the Page” by Bob Seger

 


In a spacious TV studio, east of Tokyo
You can listen to the sous chefs as they scurry to and fro
And you wonder if tonight you’ll make an ice cream out of roe

And your thoughts will soon be focused on your culinary lore
When the chairman calls the challenger to step out on the floor
And you wonder if this night will be just like the nights before

Oh, here I am, stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

You walk into the stadium, and you stand upon the height
And you feel his eyes upon you, as he chooses you to fight
And another kitchen battle’s on; What will we cook tonight?

Sometimes you can’t hear ’em talk, other times you can
All those same old clichés: is that pudding, or a flan?
And you’re almost out of flour, but still you make it stand

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…pass the sage

From the moment that the grill is fired until the plates are served
All your skills and your talents are a legacy preserved
You cook to prove your iron reputation is deserved

Later, when the tastings done, and the compliments are shared
The chairman counts the ballot and the victor is declared
You know another challenge waits, and you will be prepared

Oh, here I am….Stirring the wok again
There I am, watching the gauge
Here I go….racing the clock again
There I go…there I go…

One new song debuted in my Orycon set in 2015. I actually wrote this a while ago, but decided not to post it until after I’d sung it in the wild somewhere, and that was the first time I had the chance.

Many people have written Iron Chef songs. This one is mine.
 

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The Shining Wit
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Act Naturally” by Johnny Russell and Voni Morrison

I’m gonna get myself a girlfriend
I’m gonna go make all these women see
That I’m a man who knows how to explain things
And all I gotta says is “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
'Cause I will make it simple as well

I know you’ll nod and see that I am right, here.
And jump into my arms and softly squee
You’ll fall for me the moment that I step up
To interrupt you, saying, “Well, actually…”

Yet somehow I wind sad and lonely
It makes me so mad; I just cannot see
I know that I did nothing to deserve this
The only thing I said was “Well, actually…”

I promise you that I know all about it
I’m quite an expert, you can surely tell
Don’t worry your pretty head about it
'Cause I will make it simple as well

I guess that she was just another hater
But I will get a girl eventually
She will not be able to resist me
When I interrupt her saying “Well, actually…”

Many thanks to Twitter user David Ballard (@dvdbllrd) for the inspiration for this.

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Deadline for the 2014 Pegasus Nominating Ballot is 12:01AM PDT, July 27, 2014


Ballots should be filled out on line or submitted by mail to:


OVFF

3824 Patricia Drive

Columbus, OH, 43220


You may select five artists/songs per category. Need ideas? Check out the results of the Brainstorming Poll!



Ballots submitted using this form must be submitted by 12:01AM PDT, July 27, 2014 (that means the first minute after July 27 ends on the West coast of the US). Ballots submitted by surface mail must be received in Columbus, OH by July 25, 2014.


*NOTE* Due to unforeseen circumstances, we’ve been forced to move the ballot closing to Sunday, July 27. We apologise for the mid-season shift in the schedule.


Each person may only submit one Nominating Ballot.


We strongly encourage you to copy & distribute this ballot as widely as possible within the filk community. You do not need to be a member of the convention to vote.


Eligibility: If a song has won a Pegasus in the past, it is not eligible for Nomination. Writer/Composers and Performers who won in 2009 – 2013 are not eligible in the same category in 2014. See the current Winners List for non-eligible songs. See The Rules for more details on eligibility requirements. Send mail to pegasus at ovff.org if you have any questions.


Please keep in mind that the Pegasus Awards are for excellence in Filking, not in music in general, or even funny music in general. Nominated songs should be part, one way or another, of the music of the filk community, and for “Best Performer” and “Best Composer”, people you nominate should be participating members of the filk community.


Thank you for your participation!!


http://www.ovff.org/pegasus/2014nomballot.html


autographedcat: (Dayna Larger)

Do Ragna-wop
By Rob Wynne
TTTO:  ”The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by Solomon Linda

Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok

In the longboat, the freezing longboat
The Vikings sail tonight
Towards the tundra, the frozen tundra
The Vikings sail tonight

Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok

Against the giants, the mighty giants,
The Vikings fight tonight
For Odin’s glory, eternal glory
The Vikings fight tonight

Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok

In Valhalla, golden Valhalla
The Vikings drink tonight
‘Till the fighting, tomorrow’s fighting
The Vikings drink tonight

Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok
Ah Ragnarok, Ah ragnarok

Inspired by a USA Today article which proclaimed that according to the Viking calendar, the world was going to end on Saturday.  So tonight we’re going to party like it’s 799.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

autographedcat: (Dayna Larger)

I’ll write more about Gafilk a bit later, but I wanted to share this with you.  Every year, I write a short introduction for the front of the program book.  This is what I wrote for this year.

Sixteen years ago, Gafilk was born.

Stop and ponder that for just a moment.  Sixteen years ago was the last century.  Sixteen years ago was the last millennium.

Children born the same weekend as Gafilk I are now in high school and able to get drivers licenses.

The first Gafilk banquet wouldn’t be for another 3 years.  Nor would the first Super Secret Guest.  The My Filk game show wouldn’t début until the following year.   A number of people we could not today imagine Gafilk without we hadn’t even met yet.  Some of the people we could not then imagine doing Gafilk without are no longer with us.

The best things about Gafilk as we know it today, the traditions we honour every year, didn’t come about because of careful planning and deliberation.  They were happy accidents.  “That was fun,” we’d say.  “Let’s do it again next year!”  And next year, and next year, and on and on until today.  As our first Super Secret Guest, Lois McMaster Bujold once remarked, “It only looks inevitable in hindsight.”

But there’s one thing we had at that first Gafilk, sixteen years ago, that we still have today.  It’s the same thing they had at the first filk con, and at filks dating back to before most of us can remember:

Put the chairs in a circle.  Gather your musical family to sit in the chairs.

Make magic.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

Foggy Duet

Dec. 23rd, 2013 02:01 pm
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Foggy Duet
by Rob Wynne
(TTTO: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Frank Loesser)

I really can’t stay
(But baby, there’s fog outside)
I’ve got to go away
(But baby, there’s fog outside)
This evening has been
(We should lock ourselves in)
So very nice
(I wish you would take my advice)
My mother will start to worry
(The visibility’s blurry)
And father will be pacing the floor
(Listen to the night creatures roar)
So I really should scurry
(They really seem to be in a fury)
But maybe half a drink more
(You grab a gun and I’ll bar the door)

The neighbours might think
(Baby, it’s mad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink?
(No hope to be had out there)
I wish I knew how
(Eyes shine in the darkness now)
To break this spell
(Sure, I wish I knew that as well)
I ought to say no, no, no, sir
(Fetch that gun from my holster)
At least I’m going to say that I tried
(In the morning, you’re sure to have died)
I really can’t stay
(No, baby, don’t go out)
Ah, but there’s fog outside (Baby, there’s fog outside)

I simply must go
(But baby, there’s fog outside)
The answer is no
(But baby, there’s fog outside)
This welcome has been
(It’s lucky that you dropped in)
So very warm
(Look out the window at that swarm)
My sister will be suspicious
(Those creatures probably think you’re delicious)
My brother will be at the door
(Eldritch creatures dripping with gore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious
(I’m reasonably sure they’re malicious)
Well, maybe just a cigarette more
(That will kill you slower, I’m sure)

I’ve got to get home
(But you’ll catch your death out there)
Say, lend me your coat
(You’ll draw your last breath out there)
You’ve really been grand
(Need to take a stand)
But don’t you see?
(It’s best if you stay here with me)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow
(There might not even be a tomorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied
(If everyone else hasn’t died)
I really can’t stay
(But I’ve got serious doubts)
Ah, but there’s fog outside (Baby, there’s fog outside)

Because, surely, Night Vale Community Radio plays seasonal music for the holidays.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

autographedcat: (Dayna Larger)

The Tacos of Shame
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” (16th century English carol)

I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I think I might die

Alone In my car
at the Office Bazaar
I ate six whole tacos
Now I think I might die

I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I think I might die

My throat it now burns
My stomach it churns
I ate six whole tacos
Now I think I might die

I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I think I might die

I’ve just me to blame
For my terrible shame
I ate six whole tacos
Now I think I might die

I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I wish I’d not had those tacos
I think I might die

I wish I’d not had those tacos
I think I might die

This is a bit of an inside joke for the Frogpants/Tadpool community.  I don’t think it requires a ton of context to understand what happened in this simple cautionary tale, though.  Merry Christmas, Mr. Johnson.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

autographedcat: (Dayna Larger)

The Ballad of The Swingman
by Rob Wynne and Jeff Williams
TTTO: “Wichita Lineman” by Jimmy Webb

I am a swing man for the Rockies
And I have no workflow
Waiting for the call
To enter and to throw
I see the batter and the catcher
I send a fastball, low inside
And the Cardinals first baseman
Hits it right down the line

I’d like this game to wrap up early
But it don’t look like rain
With extra innings our bullpen won’t ever take the strain
And we need more hits than strikeouts
And we strike out all the time
And the Cardinals first baseman
Hits it right down the line

And we need more hits than strikeouts
And we strike out all the time
And the Cardinals first baseman
Hits it right down the line

This is just a fun little insta that Jeff and I bantered in an IM conversation. (We have conversations like this all the time. Don’t you?)

The original song this is a parody of, “Wichita Lineman”, contains one of the greatest lyrics of any love song ever written. Click on the link above if you’ve never heard it.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

autographedcat: (wait...what? - kitten)

Over in the Tadpool group on Facebook, there’s a thread on the topic of “What’s your favourite song to sing in the shower?”  One of the commenters wrote: “That’s a tough one I don’t know if I have a favorite… I will sing anything from Johnny Cash, Folsom Prisom1 Rainbow Connection.”

Being a filker, of course…and a filker fresh off a con where my creative brain is already in gear, the following just fell out of my head:

Why are there so many songs about prisons
And people who are inside?
I’m stuck in this one because once in Reno
I shot a man to watch him die
I guess, in hindsight, I kind of deserve it
It wasn’t a nice thing to do
But as that train rumbles past old Folsom Prison
I can’t help but cry, wouldn’t you?

I’m not sure there’s really a point in going further with it; the joke is complete at the end of the first verse.2 I really need to start a file just for little show-stoppers like this one.


  1. Quipped another:  ”Folsom Prism is my Johnny Cash ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ cover album.  I’d pay serious money for that album.  Serious money. 

  2. As Bill Sutton taught me:  ”Short is good.  Funny is good.  Short and funny is best. 

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

Long Haul

Nov. 11th, 2013 08:52 pm
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Long Haul
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Kenworth Of My Dreams” by Richard Shindell

Sold my army rifle
Kept my old brown coat
My best friend said she’d follow me
Wherever I might roam
So I looked around until I found
A ship within my means
I put fifteen thousand credits down
On the Firefly of my dreams

A farmer’s daughter joined the crew
And she took the thing apart
And every coil and grav link
She came to know by heart
Our pilot, he’s a little strange
And Jayne is plenty mean
But I know they’ll stand behind me
In the Firefly of my dreams

But sometimes, late out on some shipping lane
I think of all the war had cost
Bad guys won, the good guys lost
I just wrote the whole damn system off

I think Inara likes me
But she won’t take me to bed
The doctor and his sister
Are running from the Feds
Shepherd says I’m running too;
I don’t know what he means
I’m just flying out into the black
In the Firefly of my dreams

But sometimes late out on some shipping lane
I think of all the war had cost
Bad guys won, the good guys lost
I just wrote the whole damn system off

Lately, life’s been pretty odd;
I’ve reasons to complain.
My character’s been questioned
So I’d like to make this plain:
From Ariel to Higgins Moon
And all points in between
I’ll do the job and then get paid
In the Firefly of my dreams

Yes, I’ll do the job and then get paid
In the Firefly of my dreams

There are many Firefly songs.  This one is mine.

Richard Shindell writes amazing songs, and I listen to him a lot and cover a lot of his work.  And a long time ago, it occurred to me that the long-haul trucker in his song “The Kenworth of my Dreams”, who sells everything he owns to buy a sort of freedom, was a spiritual ancestor to Malcolm Reynolds.

This is another song where the idea came to me and stalled halfway through, and then sat in a folder for a long time.   I finished it a couple of years ago, but looking back over my blog, it appears I never actually posted it.  I know I’ve performed this a couple of times out and about, once in a circle at Conflikt and once on a panel at Dragon*Con.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

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The final day of OryCon had come at last, and with it my concert.

Before that, though, we packed up the room and lugged the suitcase out to the car. and then went to the main stage room to see Alexander James Adams’s set.  He was in great form, and it was a treat to see him play twice in 3 weeks1, and a great time was had by all.  His Sleepy Hollow song (whose title I forget) was especially electric.

At noon, it was time for the Band Scramble.  This is an event that seems to be really big here in the Northwest…everyone’s name goes into a hat, and bands are formed by pulling them out at random.  The new group then has 24 hours to decide on a song to perform together and knock it out.  Due to this that and the other thing, our band2 (consisting of myself, Andrew Ross, Cecilia Eng, and Amanda Morris) never did get together to rehearse, so we very quickly convened in the hallway for half a dry-run of Andrew’s song “Can’t Stop The Signal”, which is to the tune of “You Can’t Stop The Beat” from Hairspray, and works well for this because each person can take a verse.  Cecilia elected just to play the guitar, as the song wasn’t in her range in the key we were doing it, but that still gave each of the others a turn at the mic.  It started out a bit ragged, but we threw ourselves into the “Hello, SHOWTUNES” energy of it and it came together all right in the end.  The second band up featured Char McKay, Alexander James Adams, Steve Dixon, and Callie Hills, and it was really lovely.  The final band3 featured Debs & Errol and Danica Dixon, and they went the extra mile and apparently, not understanding the rules of the contest, went and *wrote* a song to perform the night before.  It was a lovely piece about Howl’s Moving Castle, and I hope that it might resurface because it was really lovely.

The next event was to be the song-writing contest, which I was one of the judges for, but since only one person had submitted a song, we let him sing his song and then awarded him the prize.

Next up was my concert.  This was my first concert here in the Northwest, and the first one I’d done in over a year, and I’ll admit I felt a bit rusty at the start.  I also made the last minute decision to sit rather than stand, which I regret now because I wasn’t really comfortable.  Oddly enough, the songs at the top of the set list were ones I’d been specifically practising, and they were shaky, where as the back half of the set list was mostly songs I do often enough I hadn’t been specifically rehearsing them, and those went much better.  The set list was:

Party of Four
Accept No Substitutes
Son Of A Son Of A Vor Lord
Ceci N’est Pas Un Chanson (Dave Rood)
Guinevere (Robin Batteau)
You Stay Here (Richard Shindell)
One Trick Pony (Paul Simon)
Ozymandias (Dave Weingart)4
Your Ex-Lover Is Dead (Stars)
Year of the Cat (Al Stewart)5
Space (Ben Wakeman)

Someone who was in the audience will have to judge how well it went over all.  Like Mr. Tanner, I only hear the flaws.  But I think it went reasonably well once I got past the first couple of songs.

Once I was done with my concert, I did what I usually do after a concert.  I went to the bar and ordered a stiff drink.  I had an hour to kill before my final panel, which was titled “PC vs Mac vs Linux vs Unix”, which we spent very little talking about because it’s not a fundamentally interested thing to talk about for an hour.  Both myself and my co-panellist agreed that computers are tools and you select the tool that’s best for the job at hand, and then went on to talk about the history of the personal computer6, and what’s on the cutting edge of development for user interface design7.  Despite the fact that we spent very little time on the topic at hand, we had a lot of audience engagement and everyone seemed to like the conversation, so I’ll call it a success.

At this point it was 4pm and we both have to work tomorrow, so we reluctantly begged off a dinner invitation and hit the road.  Three hours later, we were home, ordered pizza and watched a couple of episodes of Pawn Stars, which was about precisely what we had enough brain power to process.

I had an absolutely magical weekend.  Much thanks to the concom, and particularly Daniel Reitman and Andrew Ross, for inviting me and giving me so much to do across a broad spectrum.  I made some new friends, had some interesting conversation, and quite honestly had the time of my life.  I’m already looking forward to coming again next year.


  1. since we’d just seen him at OVFF 

  2. Which was inadvertently named “Only Here For The Flowers” 

  3. The Band of Awesome 

  4. Requested from the audience 

  5. One day, I want to do this with a proper band so we can do the extended outro 

  6. How did we get into this mess? 

  7. How are we going to get out of this mess? 

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

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Son of a Son of a Vor Lord
by Rob Wynne
TTTO: “Son Of A Son Of A Sailor” by Jimmy Buffett

As the son of a son of a Vor lord
I went out into space for excitement
I set out to bamboozle a captain and crew
By pretending I’m some sort of pirate

As a schemer of tactics and a student of war
I make up my plans as I go
Read many accounts about soldiers and Counts
It was all that I needed to know

Son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a Vor Lord
Under the gun, talk on the run
My momentum carrys me forward

With a fleet of my own in a distant war zone
I crafted a brand new persona
I can shake the hand of the ImpSec man
While he pretends he doesn’t know me

And my lady was born on Station Kline
Floating out in the space lanes
Fast on her feet, runs the whole fleet
And her beauty is matched by her brains

Preparing to race through the wormholes in space
Our forefathers mapped out before us
Feel the hull thrum as the jump engines hum
And see what is waiting there for us

Wherever I go, I’ll find trouble I know
In deep space, or the Dendarii mountains
I don’t stop to reflect about what happens next
At least I didn’t end up an accountant

But a son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a Vor lord
Under the gun, talk on the run
My momentum carrys me forward

I’m just a son of a son, son of a son
Son of a son of a Vor lord
My honour is bound to the Emperor’s crown
And I know I will not die of boredom

I started writing this song five or six years ago, and got stuck in the middle because I wasn’t even sure at what point in the series the song was set.  I put it away and ran across the notes on it recently while tidying up some old folders, and suddenly i knew what I needed to do with it.

This is based on Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkoskigan Saga, and specifically is set sometime before Memory, but after Miles has had time to establish himself with the Dendarii mercenaries.  So, maybe sometime around Brothers in Arms or Borders of Infinity.

I debuted this song in my concert set at Orycon 35 in Portland, Oregon.

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

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Whew.  It’s been a long time since I was at a gencon, but I’ve been having a great time at this one.

After getting up and getting a shower, we wandered over to the nearby mall for a late breakfast/early lunch.  We ended up getting reasonably tasty teriyaki chicken from the food court, and had a great time watching the skaters on the ice rink in the middle of the mall while we ate.

Between panels I was on and things I wanted to attend, I had a pretty full day.  First up was “Can Movies Capture The Joy of Comics”, which was a lively panel.  We talked about the many various successful and unsuccessful attempts to adapt comics to the screen, and got a lot of input from the audience.

Immediately following was a panel called “Books to Movies to Comics to Movies to Books”, which was all about adaptation.  While some of it focused on similar topics to the first panel, we were a bit broader in the discussion, and got in several examples of cross-medium adaptation, including movie novelisations, TV series continuing as comics, and even the recent trend of taking a bunch of disparate iconic concepts and blending them into a new series, such as “Once Upon A Time” and “Grimm” have been doing.1

We had a brief break before a 6pm panel on “Developing Convention Policies”, which was attended by my wife and the husband of one of my co-panelists.2 After 10 minutes of no one being there, the panel and audience decided that we ought to continue our conversation on convention policy over dinner, and adjourned as a group to the restaurant.

After dinner, we got to the filk room in time to hear most of Frank Hayes’s concert.  I had arranged with the filk track to present Frank with his Pegasus Award for Best Alien Song,3 and as luck would have it, he played it in his set.  We interrupted the concert in order to present the award, which was great fun, since he hadn’t been warned this was going to happen.

Next up was the Filk Guest of Honour concert performance from Debs and Errol.  I was already quite familiar with their work via recording, but it was great to finally see them perform live.4 I hope to spend more time with them as the weekend progresses, but after the concert they had the usual press of folks wanting to meet them, so I briefly introduced myself and figured I’d see them again as the weekend progressed.  Tremendous fun duo.  Do *not* miss them if you get the chance.

As I’m writing this, I have one more duty, which is to be part of the Polyamory panel at 11pm.  After which I think I will sleep soundly.  Tomorrow has another full day in store!


  1. I mentioned and was surprised no one in the audience had heard of “Welcome to Night Vale“. 

  2. My opening remark:  ”We outnumber them.  I think that means we win!” 

  3. Which was awarded two weeks ago at OVFF 

  4. During the concert, I tweeted “I really want to fold up @debsanderrol and put them in my luggage. 

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

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