autographedcat

Every morning, I receive, via e-mail, a digest of headlines from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, detailing for me the top stories of the morning with links to the stories should I care to pursue them. This morning, one of those headlines stood out, not least because it was singled out in the subject line of the e-mail:

Book says bin Laden had crush on Whitney Houston

In a juicy excerpt by former bin Laden concubine-turned-“Days of Our Lives” soap opera scribe Kola Boof, 37, she writes that the terrorist mastermind was obsessed with the Alpharetta pop star during her tenure with him.

In her memoir, “Diary of a Lost Girl,” Boof dishes that “He [bin Laden] told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. He had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke someday of spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try and arrange a meeting. In his briefcase, I would come across the Star [magazine] as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston’s name.”

If you're anything like me, the following thoughts probably occur to you at this point, more or less in this order:

1) This is news we need to know?
2) Osama bin Laden has become part of the celebrity culture.
3) Poor bastard.

And then....like a beacon of light, it occurred to me. I know how we can find this guy, at long last. And because I am a patriotic American who loves his country, I offer this to the leaders of our military at no cost, without expectation of recognition or recompense.

The Army simply needs to form the 1st Armoured Paparazzi Division. We assemble a unit of the world's top celebrity photographers, air drop them onto the Afghanistan/Pakistan border, and within two weeks, we'll be getting shots of Osama going into his cave with a newspaper held up to block his face.

Go ahead. Say it's crazy, but it just might work!