autographedcat

Conversation between me and kitanzi just now:

Me:  Buffalo wings should have a crispy texture when you bite into them.  Crispy skin, that is, no breading.  Breaded wings are an abomination in the eyes of God.¹

Her:  I wasn’t aware God had an firm opinion on wings.

Me: God has an firm opinion on almost everything.

Her: Well, all sorts of people have an opinion about what God’s opinion of things is.  That’s not the same thing.

Me:  Ok, let me clarify.  God – as I understand Him – has a very firm opinion on wings. And, when I say “God as I understand him”, what I mean is…..me.

Her:  (offers high-five) Well, at least you’re honest.

I love my wife.  We’re perfect for each other.

1. Trying to find buffalo wings in Seattle as good as my favourite place back in Atlanta is an ongoing quest. ↩

Mirrored from Home of the Autographed Cat.

kitanzi: Come to bed, silly.
autographedcat: Ok, I'll come to bed. But I warn you, I want snuggles.
kitanzi: Can I sleep while you're snuggling?
autographedcat: That'll be hard. You're the only person in the house to snuggle with.
kitanzi: We have two cats.
autographedcat: Yes, but they're often very....particular about their snuggling.
kitanzi: Oh. Are you saying I'm easy then?
autographedcat: Nooooo.
kitanzi: Oh. So you're saying I'm difficult?

kitanzi: Do you love me?
autographedcat: I do! I do!
kitanzi: Do you love me more than ice cream?
autographedcat: I do.
kitanzi: Wow.
autographedcat: I love you more than carmel and chocolate ice cream.
kitanzi: That's a lot.
autographedcat: I love you more than Coldstone Creamery ice cream with bits of fruit in.
kitanzi: Stop it. You're making me hungry.
autographedcat: Sorry.
kitanzi: It's ok. Not like I can get that at quarter-to-mindnight.
autographedcat: You could get Ben and Jerry's. They sell that in the supermarket.
kitanzi: You realize you're perilously close to being sent out for ice cream by your wife, right?
autographedcat: (silence)
kitanzi: Hah. That shut you up, didn't it?
autographedcat: Would there be sex involved?
kitanzi: Not tonight, no, sorry.
autographedcat: (rolling over) Then go get your own damn ice cream.

kitanzi: What is that?
autographedcat: It's a computer accessory set shaped like frogs. See: keyboard, mouse, and speakers. Frogs.
kitanzi: They keyboard isn't shaped like a frog. No wait, it is.
autographedcat: Yeah, see - there's the eyes, and there's its little hands.
kitanzi: Roadkill frog, more like.
autographedcat: Maybe that's why the mouse and the speakers look so alarmed. <does South Park voices> "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" "You BASTARDS!"