So I Turned Myself To Face Me

[autographedcat]

Sometimes, you realise something about yourself so fundamentally obvious in hindsight that you're not sure how it took you so long for it to occur to you.

I've been struggling a bit with my depression in recent weeks. Given the amount of slow-motion change in my life right now, that's hardly surprising, but today, while thinking about a comment thread yesterday in osewalrus's Facebook page, something clicked in my brain that clarified to me why I've felt so unsettled.

I have two strong behavioural methods for temporarily punching up my mood: eating and buying things.

Neither of which I can really do right now.

I'm trying hard to get back on my fitness plan, which means I have a careful budget with regards to what and how much I can eat in a given day.

I'm saving up money to move across country in 3 months and need to be prepared to weather out a period of unemployment, so I can't really shop for much of anything I don't actually require.

It could be argued that neither of this are strictly healthy ways of dealing with stress and depression, but I've been me for a long time, and I know they both work, at least in the short term. And right now, for a variety for reasons, I'm denied their outlet.

Not sure what to do with this information presently, but there you have it.

Comments

[phillip2637.livejournal.com]

"I'm saving up money to move across country"

Maybe you could convince yourself that you're in the process of buying a new city! :-)

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Now, there's a notion...

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like this idea, it makes the effort visible/tangible. Consider what different amounts of money might buy you, and then you could create some kind of IOUs or promissory notes for yourself as you save and/or don't spend. "$5 = good latte at ubiquitous coffeeshop", "$40 = shopping at local grocery", "$300 = one week of renting", etc.

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

I do sometimes make that sort of conversion. Often in terms of "Well, I could buy that, but for the same money I could buy a plane ticket." :)

[netpositive.livejournal.com]

Yep! When I was first working, I often calculated my "salary" in terms of [music] CD units. [Or sometimes book units, but there is much more variability in book format/pricing.] This is why I have too many, I mean, not enough CDs. :)